Only so Long
by CS.Nacht
Summary: Nico has loved the hero of Olympus from afar for as long as he remembers. However, it isn't until Percy breaks up with Annabeth that Nico does something about his attraction. It doesn't go as he would have liked.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Only so Long

Author: CS_Nacht

Pairing: Percy/Nico, Percy/Annabeth (past)

Rating: R

Summary: Nico has loved the hero of Olympus from afar for as long as he remembers (well, as far as the other bed at least). However, it isn't until Percy breaks up with Annabeth that Nico does something about his attraction. It doesn't go as he would have liked.

Notes: Dedicated to the lovely Amethyst Grey. Let me know what you think; I'm trying out a new style of writing and it's the first fanfic I've written in a while.

Part One

Nico flounders, slightly off-kilter as he shadows into the kitchen and stiffens, senses on high alert. It was like he never left home – a thick, coiling darkness pervades his house; he draws his Stygian sword from its resting place and rushes to the shared bedroom.

His keen eyes pick out a lump on the bed nearest the door and thinks that it could be Percy – if Percy had decided to camp out on his bed for some reason. But, he knew better, if Percy were here, there would be two lumps on his own bed – or none at all.

Annabeth was visiting that weekend; Percy had specifically booked a hotel room for the weekend but Nico had opted to return to Hades to get some more training in – just in case. That and he hadn't wanted to be here even upon Annabeth's arrival.

Since moving in with Percy after the war, Annabeth had visited four times. In about as many years – except that one time where there was only a lull of four months – Nico had kept close track over their relationship. (Percy didn't know this of course.)

Still, he had watched Annabeth greet Percy with a hug and a chaste kiss the first time. She then proceeded to make herself comfortable in their kitchen and Nico felt something akin to anger. He didn't understand why even as they all sat down to dinner. There was edible food, a home cooked meal that didn't come from Sally, and he didn't understand _why_ he couldn't just enjoy it. Or why it tasted like ashes in his mouth. He then lingered long enough that it was decided that the two would find another abode for the night.

It wasn't that Nico didn't want Annabeth to visit – except, that was just exactly it.

The second time, Percy had all but demanded he get out of the house for the weekend; spend some time out in the fresh air, and really, just where was he supposed to find that in _hell_? That had caused a monumental fight between the two that ended with Percy capitulating only because Nico actually _didn't_ understand why he shouldn't be there. After all, Percy was his best friend and they shared living space.

Not to mention a room. (Nico would have liked to share a bed, but that probably would have been a hard sale to the hero.)

Nico had hovered in the umber of the living room that night, the shadows concealing him, as he watched Annabeth. Her greeting was much friendlier this time; while much too level-headed to actually squeal and jump on him, Annabeth did hug Percy fiercely and the two shared quite a deep kiss – _four_, he might add, _with tongue_ – before Nico finally managed to get his body working and shadow out of the apartment complex.

He hadn't quite been able to contain his rage that night. (In fact, he accidentally raised a zombie army and demolished half of the park before finally regaining control over his body.)

That encounter had probably been what first alerted him to the fact that the swooping sensation that he feels every time he sees the son of Poseidon and the way his own moods changed to suit that of his more mercurial companion, wasn't just the idolatry he thought it to be, but love. He kicked himself hard when he realized that.

Shaking his head to rid himself of such thoughts, Nico silently stalks toward the lump – he could see it moving rhythmically up and down now that he was closer – and pulls the covers down slightly with the edge of his blade. He's understandably confused when the sleeping countenance of his roommate greets him. (Percy looks like an angel – albeit an unkempt and slightly ripe one.)

"Jackson!" he snarls, as he lowers his sword and whacks the hero across the head with it.

Percy raises his hand to his head sluggishly, and in that time, Nico had gone to turn on the lights.

"Nnhh!" Percy lets out a pitiful moan that cut through Nico's heart and he promptly turns them off. Not like he needs them anyway. The darkness had always been his constant companion and it suits Percy well.

"Nico?" comes his name a few moments later muzzily, as Percy surfaces from the bed. Nico's sharp eyes had long since adapted to the lack of light and he watches as the son of Poseidon twist on the bed, trying to bury his face in further before relaxing as he realized that the glare of the light faded.

At the same time, Nico is hit by the realization that _Percy_ is on _Nico's_ bed. And his brain sort of short-circuits at this point.

He comes to halfway through Percy's speech. "– sheets in the wash. They still smell like _her_."

The way that Percy says "her" is kind of reverent and exasperate at the same time and Nico knows immediately that he's referring to Annabeth.

Then, the beginning of the conversation comes to him and he sucks in a sharp, little gasp. (He's not quite sure if it was delight, but he's willing to call it shock.)

"Are you okay?" Nico asks carefully, willing to try and act the part of the concerned best friend. (Somehow, he didn't think that Percy would appreciate it if he danced up and down for joy.)

Percy beckons him closer and Nico can feel warm little puffs of air from Percy's lips as he leans forward, can see the chapped lips perfectly as they part, stain of whiskey heavy on his breathe, "Don't ask stupid questions."

Reality hits Nico like ice water. This wasn't one of his dreams where Percy realized that Nico was so much better for him than Annabeth and waits for him on a bed; this was Percy lying on his bed because Annabeth had crushed his heart to pieces and Nico's bed didn't remind him of her. (Nico didn't much want to think of what they were doing before the break-up.)

He clears his throat and makes a peace offering, "Bacchanal wine?" Normal alcohol doesn't quite affect demigods as much as mortals. The bottle of whiskey that Percy more than likely downed like water, had probably only succeeded in making him drowsy. (Though, the end result wasn't something Nico minded all that much. He quite liked Percy on his bed.)

Percy nods fervently.

Nico flits to the kitchen and finds the stock of high-proof alcohol and spends the night commiserating with Percy. Or rather, he listens as Percy inserts random comments about his relationship with Annabeth – and how they shouldn't have extended the long distance portion for as long as they did.

Still, Percy can't seem to get over her that quickly. He gave up _immortality_ for her. (_And_, Nico's own mind adds, _she's how he even _**survived**_ the trip through Styx._)

Later, when they're both three sheets to the wind – an expression that Nico really can't comprehend at the moment - Nico lands a sloppy kiss on Percy's cheek, and drags his lips further down to taste Percy's lips. And there's the taste of _Percy_ underneath the wine.

And even later, as Nico gets on his knees in front of the intoxicated hero and tastes the bitterness of Percy's release – his palpable evidence that Percy enjoyed himself – he doesn't complain.

Percy was too good for him anyways. He didn't belong in the same darkness as Hades' children, no matter how much the darkness covets him. He didn't belong to the darkness at all.

And certainly not to Nico.

Even so, Nico couldn't stop the solitary tear that slips down his cheek as Percy falls into slumber with Annabeth's name on his tongue.


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Only so Long

Author: CS_Nacht

Pairing: Percy/Nico, Percy/Annabeth (past)

Rating: R

Summary: Nico has loved the hero of Olympus from afar for as long as he remembers (well, as far as the other bed at least). However, it isn't until Percy breaks up with Annabeth that Nico does something about his attraction. It doesn't go as he would have liked.

Notes: Dedicated to the lovely Amethyst Grey. I hope everyone enjoys the new installment though it has been a long time in coming. Also, as much as I appreciate the favourites - and I do thank you for it, I'd like some reviews to let me know how I'm doing. If the boys are in character, if the writing style seems off...if you hate my guts. So, this is the author's plea for both review and inspiration seeing as my muse has left me.

Part Two

The next time they do this, Percy's not drunk.

He doesn't even whisper Annabeth's name as he comes.

He doesn't do much of anything except lie on Nico's silk sheets and moan, tossing his head this way and that as Nico skilfully works him.

Nico can't decide if this is better or worse after Percy falls prey to Morpheus' touch.

* * *

The third time's a little bit different – in that Percy invited Nico to his house for dinner.

And Sally fawns over the two, plying Nico with blue food, asking them about their jobs at Camp Half-Blood, and the like.

They didn't touch that night and Percy avoids him for the two weeks after.

Nico can't fathom why, but he accepts it all the same when he learns from the Stoll brothers that Percy took the week off from combat training to visit Tyson.

* * *

It is exactly one month after the break-up when Nico finds Percy in his bed again, not quite drunk but getting there.

That night, it's almost a relief when Percy falls asleep right after.

* * *

It's another two months after – and eight more times that Nico gave Percy what he thinks is empty pleasure – that Annabeth comes to visit.

Nico picks a fight with Demeter that day and wins; kicking her out of his father's castle momentarily (no doubt off to complain to the other gods about his ghastly behaviour). Even Hades takes one look at his stony countenance and doesn't mention how much better Bianca would have taken this.

It's at times like this when Nico misses his sister the most. They could talk about generally everything – they have talked about boys on occasion while stuck in the Lotus hotel – until their attention was otherwise captured, at least. (And he's had to let her go too.)

Only Mrs. O'Leary doesn't flee from Nico, she licks his face lightly before settling down and resting at his feet, dozing. Nico can't help but bury his face into the hellhound's neck and sobbing like the child that he hasn't been for sixty plus years – and wouldn't be still if his father hadn't hidden both him and Bianca.

Fat lot of good that did.

Nico can't stop the hysterical laughter that bubbles out of him as he contemplates being old – _or dead_, his mind supplies helpfully – instead of being alive, a scant few years separating him from Percy. (Physically at least; Nico hasn't quite aged as much emotionally as he'd have liked.)

He wonders if that would hurt less, not having known about Percy instead of this pattern, or whatever it was that they've fallen into.

_Screw this_, he thinks, shaking his head angrily. He's no longer twelve years old and harbouring a silly crush over the hero of Olympus; he's sixteen and he's the _Ghost King_ – he has dominion over the _dead_ and can command the countless masses to do his biding. One demi-god son of Poseidon should _not_ be able to reduce him to tears, much less push him around like this - especially unintentionally.

Tomorrow_, _he thinks, tomorrow, Nico will give Percy what's coming to him and_ make_ him acknowledge what's happening between them.

* * *

Resolutions only last ever so long.

And only Percy's able to throw Nico into such confusion and turmoil.

"You have to want something from this," Percy restates softly.

"It doesn't matter what I want," Nico replies hotly, furiously even. Damn the son of Poseidon for doing this to him.

"Yes, it does," answers Percy, imploringly. "You're my friend – my best friend – and I know I'm hurting you. I just don't know why."

Nico clams up, and then in a dream-like sequence, he flies forward to punch Percy Jackson in the jaw, sending him reeling. "You arrogant fuck," he hisses before he shadows out of the apartment. He never should have returned in the first place. So much for wanting more out of "this."

* * *

Nico swings his feet lightly from his perch in the tree as he watches the otters frolic below him. He knows that he has to head back sometime, but for now, he's content to just laze about and forget. Despite how adorable the Oriental small-clawed Otters are, Nico envies them for their freedom. (He wishes that he could be like that; with no concerns in the world whatsoever.)

The National Zoo has only changed in that there are more animals here than the last time he visited – and more variety too. The "Asia Trail," among others, had not been here then.

Nico watches the tiny things some more before teleporting to the Oak Hill Cemetery; a location much more familiar to him. (He doesn't think about how familiar his own bedroom would be. Not in the least.)

It was a gorgeous little place, the atmosphere heavy and the history rich. Mostly though, it was silent; the dead weren't great conversationalists unless he summoned them. Even then, they mostly liked to kvetch about _their_ problems – something Nico wasn't very fond of. Especially when he had his own to deal with. (Stupid, stupid unpredictable son of the Earthshaker.)

It's here, outside a chapel in Washington DC, atop the highest hill, that Percy finds Nico, lamenting over his own problems.


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Only so Long

Author: CS_Nacht

Pairing: Percy/Nico, Percy/Annabeth (past)

Rating: R

Summary: Nico has loved the hero of Olympus from afar for as long as he remembers (well, as far as the other bed at least). However, it isn't until Percy breaks up with Annabeth that Nico does something about his attraction. It doesn't go as he would have liked.

Notes: Dedicated to the lovely Amethyst Grey. I hope everyone enjoys the new installment and feedback would be much appreciated. And keep in mind that I know the traffic stats of my story *grins*. Moreover, keep in mind that despite the last two words...well, I'll leave that to your imagination.

Part Three

"Good girl," Nico hears Percy praise. "You can go back now."

Nico hears a resounding 'woof' and the earth trembles lightly as Mrs. O'Leary lops into the shadow of a tree. Nico isn't quite sure how Percy even managed to find her, much less use her to track him down, but he doesn't care. (Really.)

He's content to let the silence sit, but Jackson's already opened his mouth.

"Jackson, if I wanted to be near you, I would have stayed home," Nico cuts in irritably. He really doesn't want to hear this – except that he does. "I'll give you your dues for being able to find me, now please, get lost."

"No can do, di Angelo," Percy says, walking closer. "I already sent Mrs. O'Leary back. I'm pretty much stuck here."

"That's your own fault then," ripostes Nico as he stands up, making to leave.

The saviour's reflexes are as quick as ever though, as he grabs Nico by the arm and tugs him close.

"Don't you want to know why I'm here? Or how I even got here?" questions Percy, breathing into Nico's ear. And fuck, Nico's trembling from the proximity.

"Not in particular, no. Unhand me, Jackson." Nico strives valiantly to get his body back under control.

"You once told me that all shadows were part of the same matter."

Nico can't see what that statement has to do with anything. Except…Nico lifts his head up, gaze sharp and clear, catching sight of a splash of purple on the hero's cheek. Jackson had better not be fucking around with him. (Nico doesn't think about how he's resisting capture – and that's what it _is _ – Percy fucking Jackson has pretty much captured all of Nico at this point – his body, his attention, his heart.)

"Jackson, you better –"

"I asked you what you expected out of this, but I didn't preface it with what I want," continues Percy, without giving pause to Nico's outburst. "I want you."

Nico snorts; he doesn't even bother to hide or vocalize his thoughts on this.

"Hear me out," implores Percy, sea-green eyes begging unflinching black.

Nico gives a curt nod and then looks down at his wrists significantly. The grip instantly loosens, and instead of holding him with the same intensity, they rub circles meant to soothe and Nico can't quite manage to wrench his hands out of that gentle touch.

"I love Annabeth and our break-up ruined me because I wasn't expecting it," states Percy unhurriedly and Nico forces himself not to flinch or bolt like he desperately wants to. "And because I wasn't expecting it…the first few times you touched me and my reaction to them is not something I'm proud of." Here Nico can feel hysteria lodging in his throat. "However, by the time I figured out my thoughts – which I didn't understand until well after I tried to avoid you," and Nico _really_ didn't want to hear this anymore. "We'd already fallen into a pattern and you," Nico thinks that the hitch in Percy's voice is overdone, "you never stayed the night."

The hands drop from Nico's own – and he doesn't feel their loss immediately, he _doesn't_ – and reach out towards his face, as if to cup it, before dropping back to the hero's sides uselessly.

"I was a coward, and completely selfish," voices Percy. "You were there for me, taking unneeded measures to make sure that I stayed relatively happy. I should have told you what it was that I felt – you're my best friend – the least I could have done was ask you what you wanted…or reciprocated."

Maybe it was the use of "best friend" that makes him snap but Nico's suddenly furious. Levelling a cool glare that hinted nothing of his inner turmoil, he speaks, voice harder than his blade and taking on the sibilant tones of the dead and dying, "I am not your duty, Jackson. I'm not someone you have to save. I never asked you for anything."

It's a lie, but Jackson doesn't need to know that. Nico had wanted so much more from their encounters, but there's something about Percy's persistence that scares him. And the son of Poseidon is nothing if not persistent.

Then again, there's also something almost brittle in the way that Jackson looks at him, almost as if he's hurt by Nico's precise words. (Nico almost wants to capitulate, _almost_.) Of course, he did choose his words for that exact purpose. So that Jackson wouldn't feel obligated to continue in this vein of whatever it was; he was the textbook definition of "hero's complex" after all.

"I didn't say that you were." Percy's reply is strong, not reflecting the confusion that Nico can see in his eyes – when he can ignore the bruise that he caused earlier. "I'm not asking because I feel like I _have to _return the favour. I _want_ to do this. I like you."

"NO!" Nico snarls, something fierce and primal inside loosening his tongue just a bit more, "You do _not_ get to play that card, Jackson."

"I don't understand." And _damnit, _Percy looks so beautiful standing there; the moonlight itself seems to stem from his presence much like the tide recedes from shore, a teasing and tantalizing whisper. His voice was a lover's caress and at the same time, a condemnation; both home and coffin, because surely, _surely_, it'll be the death of Nico: "What is it that you want, Nico?"

The dam breaks then and every single thing that Nico's wanted to say since the first time Percy asked, pours out of his mouth. "What I wanted was for you to get your head out of your ass and bend me over the nearest flat surface. What I wanted was for you to fuck me until we're both too tired to _breathe_ much less move." And here, here's the cincher and Nico's own voice breaks. "What I wanted was to touch your warm heart, Perce. So why is it that I only got to touch your cold body? Even now?"

Nico presses himself closer to the suddenly silent hero and flashes them back to the apartment. He breathes in the scent deep and pulls away to arm's length to look into the muted moss-green eyes before finishing, "What I want, is for you to leave me alone."

Nico casts a cursory glance over the kitchen – the sink that still held the remnants of Annabeth's most current visit – and steels himself to leave, when it's the last thing he ever wanted to do.

"Please don't try to find me again. I'd hate to have to seal Mrs. O'Leary in Hades."

"Nico!"

Nico's able to still the shudder that was almost reflexive; Percy's whispering promises, apologies, and love. Everything that Nico's every wanted.

Still, he doesn't turn around.

"Goodbye, Jackson."


End file.
